this was such a raw and vulnerable display that i really really felt myself being moved by it despite never having the shared experience. i hope parenting has been a bit easier for you ever since this work of art dropped, and even so you're doing ur best as a mother! reading abt how strong ur love is for your child made me tear up, this is really sweet. best of luck to raising them!! i hope for only the best :D
I cried a little bit, especially at the part of holding your baby in the bath and crying together I remember doing that so many times. Or the little pop ups with all your hopes and promises to your baby. I remember holding mine and crying while promising them the exact same.
I hope you know that you're doing a hard thing by being a mom -- every parent feels like they aren't doing enough. But just being there and loving your baby goes a long way. My mom was scared shitless -- and she certainly didn't feel the "instant connection" people kept telling her she should feel, but here I am, twenty-four years later. Best of luck to you and your growing family <3
Im way too young to understand this on a mom level, but this is the exact anxiety i face when I have my patients in front of me. I know its not the same at all, but i defenetly get the anxiety attacks and the anguish when you feel you did or will do something wrong that will change the course of their life forever, and that need to be there with them, helping them become what they want.
And also the shared culture of Hollywood childbirth is stupid, fuck that, lets normalise people not being all hyped up after such a traumatic expirience.
I think you've captured the complicated and sometimes contradictory side of parenting: the guilt, the fear, the fatigue. I have two children myself, and I think we [parents] do what we can and love them [children] wholeheartedly. It's a hard task but I'm glad you're doing it. Keep up the good work.
From a fellow parent to another : giant virtual hug, tap on the back : we're in this all (wave around) together. (and don't forget to call a trusted friend to take care of them while you enjoy a 2h nap in a bath)
this made me cry!! I personally do not want to have children because I’m scared of messing them/us up as I don’t have a good relationship with my parents. I don’t want to pass on any traumas; it can end with me. I really liked your promise to your child. Based on that, you’re already doing absolutely great! I wish I was given the same space to be myself as you’re promising your child. You’re doing fine, thank you for sharing this! More power to your parenthood ♥
holy moly, i didn't think i would cry but i did. the promise to your child just really hit me. i know that i feel that way about other people in my life, but the idea that someone has looked at me and thought those same things? that someone held me, and thought it was worth it to keep trying, to give even when i couldn't give anything in return? OOF TT~TT
hahaha i just had such a laugh watching you play through this story having clearly gone in a bit blind - thank you for being so open minded as you moved through it and thank you for sharing the link to the stream with me.
this is a tiny piece of interactive fiction that i made for a game jam and you're right, it is pretty personal and probably not the most fun to read on stream. however, there are tonnes of super fun text based games here on itch that might be more streamable, and i'm happy to make some recommendations if you ever want to explore that sort of game a bit more! :)
Soooo... i gave birth past my due date this week.. well last week seeing as it's monday morning in the AMs writing this. Rushed into the hospital with my first. After a failed natural birth, a failed assisted extraction.. rushed into surgery for a c section. I was exhausted and out of it and woke up to my husband telling me our daughter had stopped breathing for 15 minutes. I think my heart stopped right there. And that wasn't even the only complication.
They managed to resuscitate her but now we are in the unknowns..
What was the damage..?
How severe is it?
How will it affect her?
How will it present itself?
Is she gonna suffer..?
And why the fuck wasn't I.. her mother just able to bring her into the world normally.. safely.. I failed..
She's currently in a neonatal icu ward and I can hopefully bring her home soon. And she is the most beautiful thing in my whole existence and I still feel like I completely just fucked up the one job I had..
This story made Me cry and not feel so alone.. thank you.. I haven't actually cried since I left the hospital.
thank you for sharing and i'm so sorry for what you have been through ❤
i have really struggled replying to this because i also had an emergency c section after what could be considered a challenging labour and it took me a little while to come to terms with it, so i don't want to offer what will now just feel like empty platitudes.
in the UK, my doctor told me that about 40% of births are performed by C section - did you know that? i felt like i had failed to do the Normal thing too, but now its another tool we have to get babies into the world just like "natural" birth.
you went through hours of pain and had your body sliced open to bring her into the world and i don't think that there is any failure in such an amazing show of sacrifice and love for your daughter. you have done everything you can for her and if there is anything i have learned so far it's that the most important part of successful parenting is continuing to do it even when things are hard, which you're doing in spades at the moment ❤
Hi, I would like to play your game. However I get this message from my browser when I try to start it: "A fatal error has occurred. Aborting. Error: no valid storage adapters found."
I've found that's usually caused by running ad blockers or anything other browser extensions you may be using that might be blocking cookies/trackers. try disabling them for the page and then refreshing
Oh, man, Nell, thank you so much for sharing. This hits on some really raw, really human emotions. Nobody wants to admit to struggling and what it says about not just you, but your relationship to a little life that’s dependent on you. People make all sorts of assumptions, but I don’t think there’s a parent alive who hasn’t wondered if they were doing the right thing. I hope you’re getting the support you need. I hope you have people to hold your hand and spill your worries to.
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this was such a raw and vulnerable display that i really really felt myself being moved by it despite never having the shared experience. i hope parenting has been a bit easier for you ever since this work of art dropped, and even so you're doing ur best as a mother! reading abt how strong ur love is for your child made me tear up, this is really sweet. best of luck to raising them!! i hope for only the best :D
love. i love this so much.
sobbing.
I cried a little bit, especially at the part of holding your baby in the bath and crying together I remember doing that so many times. Or the little pop ups with all your hopes and promises to your baby. I remember holding mine and crying while promising them the exact same.
I hope you know that you're doing a hard thing by being a mom -- every parent feels like they aren't doing enough. But just being there and loving your baby goes a long way. My mom was scared shitless -- and she certainly didn't feel the "instant connection" people kept telling her she should feel, but here I am, twenty-four years later. Best of luck to you and your growing family <3
Thanks for making this game.
Im way too young to understand this on a mom level, but this is the exact anxiety i face when I have my patients in front of me. I know its not the same at all, but i defenetly get the anxiety attacks and the anguish when you feel you did or will do something wrong that will change the course of their life forever, and that need to be there with them, helping them become what they want.
And also the shared culture of Hollywood childbirth is stupid, fuck that, lets normalise people not being all hyped up after such a traumatic expirience.
I think you've captured the complicated and sometimes contradictory side of parenting: the guilt, the fear, the fatigue. I have two children myself, and I think we [parents] do what we can and love them [children] wholeheartedly. It's a hard task but I'm glad you're doing it. Keep up the good work.
What a raw, concise little poem. You can feel the love pouring out of this game. Thank you for sharing.
From a fellow parent to another : giant virtual hug, tap on the back : we're in this all (wave around) together. (and don't forget to call a trusted friend to take care of them while you enjoy a 2h nap in a bath)
this made me cry!! I personally do not want to have children because I’m scared of messing them/us up as I don’t have a good relationship with my parents. I don’t want to pass on any traumas; it can end with me. I really liked your promise to your child. Based on that, you’re already doing absolutely great! I wish I was given the same space to be myself as you’re promising your child. You’re doing fine, thank you for sharing this! More power to your parenthood ♥
holy moly, i didn't think i would cry but i did. the promise to your child just really hit me. i know that i feel that way about other people in my life, but the idea that someone has looked at me and thought those same things? that someone held me, and thought it was worth it to keep trying, to give even when i couldn't give anything in return? OOF TT~TT
I am left speechless. Mostly because I will probably never be a mother :)))
The story was impactful and meaningful, I hope it speaks to a lot mothers out there. Great job!!! ^^
If you wanna see me read it, you can check it out here: https://www.twitch.tv/gonbadgames
hahaha i just had such a laugh watching you play through this story having clearly gone in a bit blind - thank you for being so open minded as you moved through it and thank you for sharing the link to the stream with me.
this is a tiny piece of interactive fiction that i made for a game jam and you're right, it is pretty personal and probably not the most fun to read on stream. however, there are tonnes of super fun text based games here on itch that might be more streamable, and i'm happy to make some recommendations if you ever want to explore that sort of game a bit more! :)
This is such a beautiful story! The way you conjured up the emotions associated with new motherhood in such a concise manner was so impressive.
Fck that made me cry
I freaking love this.
This is so beautiful, thank you so much for sharing <3
Soooo... i gave birth past my due date this week.. well last week seeing as it's monday morning in the AMs writing this. Rushed into the hospital with my first. After a failed natural birth, a failed assisted extraction.. rushed into surgery for a c section. I was exhausted and out of it and woke up to my husband telling me our daughter had stopped breathing for 15 minutes. I think my heart stopped right there. And that wasn't even the only complication.
They managed to resuscitate her but now we are in the unknowns..
What was the damage..?
How severe is it?
How will it affect her?
How will it present itself?
Is she gonna suffer..?
And why the fuck wasn't I.. her mother just able to bring her into the world normally.. safely.. I failed..
She's currently in a neonatal icu ward and I can hopefully bring her home soon. And she is the most beautiful thing in my whole existence and I still feel like I completely just fucked up the one job I had..
This story made Me cry and not feel so alone.. thank you.. I haven't actually cried since I left the hospital.
(cw surgery)
thank you for sharing and i'm so sorry for what you have been through ❤
i have really struggled replying to this because i also had an emergency c section after what could be considered a challenging labour and it took me a little while to come to terms with it, so i don't want to offer what will now just feel like empty platitudes.
in the UK, my doctor told me that about 40% of births are performed by C section - did you know that? i felt like i had failed to do the Normal thing too, but now its another tool we have to get babies into the world just like "natural" birth.
you went through hours of pain and had your body sliced open to bring her into the world and i don't think that there is any failure in such an amazing show of sacrifice and love for your daughter. you have done everything you can for her and if there is anything i have learned so far it's that the most important part of successful parenting is continuing to do it even when things are hard, which you're doing in spades at the moment ❤
sending you all my love xoxo
this was beautiful and real 💙 thank you for sharing!
Hi, I would like to play your game. However I get this message from my browser when I try to start it: "A fatal error has occurred. Aborting. Error: no valid storage adapters found."
I've found that's usually caused by running ad blockers or anything other browser extensions you may be using that might be blocking cookies/trackers. try disabling them for the page and then refreshing
Oh, man, Nell, thank you so much for sharing. This hits on some really raw, really human emotions. Nobody wants to admit to struggling and what it says about not just you, but your relationship to a little life that’s dependent on you. People make all sorts of assumptions, but I don’t think there’s a parent alive who hasn’t wondered if they were doing the right thing. I hope you’re getting the support you need. I hope you have people to hold your hand and spill your worries to.
this is really beautiful and insightful. I think these feelings are much more common than anyone will admit. thank you for sharing this ❤